Therapy for Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem is an infliction that is extraordinarily painful.
It often starts from a young age and influences your decisions, your relationships, and even your chosen life course. It colors (rather dims) how you see yourself, others, and the world around you. It may inhibit your ability to take risks that could lead to more fulfillment. And it can make the world seem like a punitive and judgmental place.
How having low self-esteem may affect you
You are uncomfortable in social situations.
You have difficulty saying no.
You assume rejection from others.
It’s almost impossible to take in positive things people say about you.
You feel less competent than others.
It’s hard to feel satisfied by your accomplishments.
You harbor a harsh inner critic that judges what you do, what you say, and who you are.
You don’t feel deserving of certain people, careers, or lifestyles.
A therapist can help in multiple ways.
When we begin to gain awareness of where our beliefs came from – we begin to see them as just that, beliefs, and not reality. Without self-reflection we don’t even question what we tell ourselves – I’m not worthy of this person. I’m not talented enough, smart enough, pretty enough… Fill in the blank.
Guess what? It’s all a lie! Our mind has a way of absorbing information that supports our distorted realities and filtering out any evidence against them. Ever wonder why it’s so hard to take a compliment?
A therapist can supply the relational needs necessary to develop self-love and acceptance. This looks like someone who is reliably there, is interested in who you are, does not judge you, cares about you and shows it, and wants to understand your experience in the world.
The process of being vulnerable with your therapist (revealing parts of yourself that you hide from others due to shame or fear of rejection), and having your therapist still wholly accept you, is transformative. Over time, it allows you to accept and own these parts of you without shame so that you can walk through life with your head held high.
Exercises and tools can be helpful for short-term relief from the burden of feeling bad about yourself. But what is usually needed for transformational change is a deeper, longer-term process in relation with someone you can trust.